FIVE POSITIVE HABITS THAT CAN BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Confidence can take us places, self-loathing can pull the best among us down. Habit coach Ashdin Doctor explains the cycle of self-doubt and how we can break it.
Self-loathing follows a pattern: Self-loathing follows a very interesting cycle. It's an external stimulus—for example, from a parent or a friend or a school teacher, something that happens at a very young age. That then becomes a part of our belief system, our thinking. We look at the world through this lens. And then, this belief system and these thoughts become our actions. So, if you say I'm a loser, I never win at anything, I'm not good at anything, you actually self-sabotage to the point where you're not good at it. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Change your thoughts: You can either change your actions or your thoughts. The way we start doing this is by trying to address our thoughts. We do this by trying to change the stimulus coming into our brain. And then, we create our own stimulus. So, for example, having sticky notes on your mirror. Each sticky note has something you want to change about your self-image. Like have one that says I want to stop playing small. This way, every time I'm brushing my hair and looking at the mirror, I can read that and it reinforces this thought process in my head. This is a very simple way of having a habit that will reinforce the thinking process.
The words used matter: You can focus on the kind of language used. Delete phrases like I can't or I will try. Just these two phrases are an easy cop-out from life. I make my clients do this interesting exercise where I put a pen in front of them and say, pick it up. And they pick it up. Then I say, now try and pick it up. And then, there is always this 10-second hesitancy. So, every time we say I try, it's us fooling our mind. So, in this way, we are changing how we are talking to ourselves.
Avoid comparison: People often say this is good, this is bad. How can you say that? It is always relative to something else, right? So, you realise you're comparing yourself constantly with the people around you or things around you. Comparing yourself with others is a big way of self-sabotage. Because you are comparing yourself to a final product that you're seeing in front of you but not comparing yourself to that journey they've gone through.
Seek positivity: What is interesting is that our natural state as humans is to be loss-averse. It means we are constantly looking out for things to be worried about. We're constantly picking up on all these negative things coming in. First, we have to change the environment to improve the kind of messaging coming to us. Follow people who make you feel good about yourself, not those who induce FOMO (fear of missing out). Positivity is the place that makes you feel everything is good, and gives a sense of hope. Where most of the mental breakdowns take place today is when people start feeling hopeless. Positivity is hope that tomorrow is going to be better than today. As somebody said, might as well be positive because what other choice do we have?
2023-10-18T12:49:50Z dg43tfdfdgfd